Machete: A sliver of fun—Movie

Tired of bullets? Looking for some action with a little more finesse from our hero? Then look no farther than Machete. Written by Robert Rodriguez and Álvaro Rodríguez and directed by Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez, Machete is Grade-B entertainment at its best.

Longtime character actor Danny Trejo is very good in the title role. Because he takes himself seriously, we can, too. Throughout a ridiculous movie, he manages to keep his dignity and holds the film together. Machete revolves around Mexican ex-Federale, Machete (Trejo). Before the opening credits have finished rolling, his family is wiped out in front of him and the screen explodes in blood. Most of the scenes are gory. You’ll learn a million ways to slice and dice with a machete and see a number of decapitations and other machete-related amputations. Machete makes his way to Texas and becomes involved with immigration issues, crime lords and assassinations…trusty machete always by his side.

To say Machete has an eclectic cast is putting it mildly. And led by Robert De Niro, the cast is amazingly good. De Niro plays hateful Texas Senator McLaughlin. Is this performance on the same level as that in Raging Bull? No…his accent comes and goes, but it’s obvious he’s having a blast. Also joining in the fun is a bloated Steven Seagal, Don Johnson (Whatever happened to him?),a mini reunion of subordinate actors from Lost–Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin–Jessica Alba and finally, Lindsay Lohan, in all of her naked glory.

Except for immigration, Machete doesn’t take itself seriously. So take it for what it’s worth…if blood and guts are your thing, if you want to learn new uses for stilettos, view some of the best choreographed fight scenes including one with souped-up trucks and cars, and if you have a desire to see Robert De Niro in his campiest role ever, then Machete is for you.

2 ½ nuggets out of 4

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